Hafsa's second draft instruction text
March 12, 2010Mr Brooks & Hafsa worked on this instruction text to uplevel it. Compare the two versions and see what you think. Leave your comments below. Why is one better than the other?
First, when you go to Friv, try to find the game Draw Play. It's really hard to find it because there are over a thousand games on the website.
When you find it, you are going to have to wait because there are many exciting advertisements. Wait for the game to load. While you are waiting, why not go on the advertised games.
When the green arrow shows, click on it. On the next screen there is: play, instructions, credits and play more games. Just click the instruction button.
How to play is: you draw a line to the flag and the arrows to move the man. The levels get harder until eventuallyyour player dies. If you make the line too steep you can't get past because of the thick steep lines you have made. And watch out for the sharp bits! Make some steps if you need to.
We improved this by: replacing capitalls in the middle of sentences, adding more detail, and read it to see if it made sense then changed it.
Posted by Marlcliffe Primary. Posted In : writing
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